From a psychiatrist who has spent the past thirty years listening to other people s most intimate secrets and troubles an eloquent, incisive, and deeply perceptive book about the things we all share and which every one of us grapples with as we strive to make the most of the life we have left. Out of a lifetime of experience, Livingston has extracted thirty bedrock truths: We are what we do. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Only bad things happen quickly. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas.